There are several questions every homeschooling family is asked at one time or another?  A common one is, “But what about socialization?” 
Several weeks ago,  we visited a local restaurant and received the stares and looks we always get when we walk into a public place.  However, seated not to far from us, was another family that we at first assumed was another large family.  We quickly found out they were just a family eating out on Friday night with their children and several sleep over public school friends.  The conversations were loud, rowdy and x-rated, coming not from teens, but young boys that looked to be the size of our 7 year old.  Loud, boisterous, out-of-control boys whose minds were already in the ditch at such a young age.  Young boys that watched way too much TV and were exposed to movies they should not have been.  Children who had parents that did nothing to correct their ill behavior.  Young boys that will one day be turned loose in society and from the sound of them, that is a very scary thought!  It shocked me back into reality and only furthered and encouraged my resolve and beliefs on why we home educate with Christ being at the center of our education and why we discipline ill behavior. 
It is exactly that type of pagan socialization and rottenness that most view as normal, needed socialization for children.  It is exactly that type of socialization that the Bible warns us of becoming entangled with and it is exactly that type of dumbing socialization that we guard against.  Proverbs 13:20 says, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise:  but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” 
The whole idea of socialization is one big psycho-babble piece of social junk that our culture would like us to believe is vitally important to the health and well-being of a child’s inner self.  The fools, who professed themselves to be wise, who came up with the darwinian ideas that putting 25, 35 or even 5 foolish children, all the same age, together in one room and giving them free reign to “socialize” was vitally important to their growth and development are the same people that scoff at the Biblical way of multi-generational family life.  Sadly, even the church has swallowed this huge lie of age segregated social approach to life.  From age segregated Sunday School classes, college classes, youth groups, young married groups, the seniors group — even Christians follow the psychology concepts purported by the world.  When a family makes a stand to go back to the Bible and see what it has to say about this type of social construct, oft times they are ridiculed at being old-fashion, out-of-the-loop, legalistic or just plain weird.  
The fact is, the Bible is the only standard by which one should live by.  In it we find all the attributes, instructions and examples of how one is to conduct his life.  In it alone, we find absolute truth and wisdom.  It is the perfect, infallible truth on parenting.  It is the one and only completely true word on who our children are, why they act the way they do, what they should conform to and how to correct their ill behavior!
Our goal should not be to have a “culturally acceptable socialized child”.  Our children should be taught the commands, precepts and patterns found in Scripture.  We are commanded to discipline disobedience and not accept it as normal childhood social development or harmless expression.  We are commanded to train our children in the Lord, not rear them in the state’s acceptable and promoted social agendas.  When we follow the patterns laid out in Scripture, it should not shock us to find our children growing, by the grace of God,  into mature young men and women who can not only “socialize” with children of their own age, but learn to live in the real world relating to all sorts of people….properly, according to Biblical standards, with manners and respect. 


  • Candace says:

    My thoughts exactly!!! Why on earth would we want our children to “learn” socialization from the typical public schooled child. It’s amazing how out of control kids are these days.
    We’re always blessed and encouraged when others comment on the behavior of our children. At our local grocery store, the checkers always comment on their helpfulness. But to us, it’s normal……we all work together as a family. We’re thankful for the opportunities to model biblical family unity, but, most people think we’re crazy for taking all seven of our children to the grocery store! We love it!

  • Dene says:

    Amen! The socialization question raised by fellow church members is the most puzzling and frustrating. How can Christian children and adults striving to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God be anything less than respectful, kind, and sociable?

  • michelle says:

    Excellent post Beth! It provided great conversation with hubby and I yesterday. It just makes no logical sense to let a group of 8 year olds ONLY be with other 8 year olds. There is no example of this in the Bible and when one thinks about it logically, it really is quite ignorant. The same goes for the Sunday School concept, but..ahem..I won’t go there. 😉

    Children learn by example…period. If their only example is another out-of-control child with no sense of obedience, then guess what kind of child you’re going to have? Good stuff!

  • tkonvalin says:

    Thanks for the thoughts. We have home schooled all of our children and it is like I need a card to hand out to answer the question of socialization since it would save much time. or maybe I need to simply great people and start by saying “Hi, we home school and no socialization is not an issue.” I am even amazed that the socialization question has been asked of people that have even commented on our children’s good behavior in light of other children they have seen. It is like people are so indoctrinated to the public education paradigm that even if they see the great benefits of homeschooling they cannot get themselves to accept it and this is predominate in the “Christian” culture. Actually now that I think about some of the more aggressive people against homeschooling I have met online have been “Christians,” how sad.
    It was good to come across your blog and have added it to my ever increasing list of blogs to keep up to date with.
    Grace and Peace,

  • I have homeschooled for 10 years and am always asked about socialization. I tell people we prefer quality to quantity.
    I am not surprised that non Christians keep their kids in public schools.But the Christians who think they can successfully raise godly children in such an anti-christian environment just floor me.