Vaughnshire Farm

It seems like the weeks are passing even faster now.  We almost have a 3 month old who is still well shaping our world here…  Last week, he caught sight of his first chicken and followed it intently as it pecked its way across the yard.  That was exciting for us for some reason.  I guess it was something “farm like” that our 11 week old (at the time) was doing–watching a chicken.  He’s well on his way to being a great farm hand!

His personality keeps us intrigued and we are enjoying lots more smiles and laughs and fewer screaming responses.  That makes me happy!  Right now, he looks around at everything going on.  He especially likes watching his siblings and gets all happy and excited when they are bouncing around near him.  Makes him wanna get up and go — which in turn causes frustration for him because he can’t make his body just get up and go like they can…or do all the neat things they do…like sit up.   

“If you have a chance, could you respond, or blog perhaps, on how you handle (endure?) small amounts of sleep and restless infants? As a mom of 2 boys, who neither one have liked to sleep, I am eager to know how mom’s of multiple children (which I hope to be) cope. Do you attempt to create any type of a sleep routine? If so, when? How?”

Well, like my husband says, “Sleep is over rated!”  That isn’t something one wants to hear at 3 am in the morning, but he has found that helps him deal with the lack of sleep we often find ourselves with during those newborn baby days. 

I, on the other hand, need my sleep or I am not a nice person.  Which, over the years, motherhood has afforded me plenty of opportunities to work on that weakness of mine.  I have found that the more children I have, the more I am able to handle the demands of those newborn weeks.  With our first baby, I was very unprepared for what life would be like with a newborn.  Being up every 2 hours nursing, changing diapers, burping, walking the floor bouncing a little human was a shocking amount of work.  With number two, I was more prepared but not much….by the time number 4 came along, we were getting somewhere in our sanctification.  By numbers 5 and 6, I had a grasp on life and number 8, well, we just know what to expect and how to live with newborns in the house.  I didn’t say it was automatically easy.  My perception and expectations have changed compared to what they were with babies 1 and 2. 

We do not create sleep and nursing schedules. 

Here are some things we do:

• Change our expectations.
• Realize we can always take a nap later.
• During the first couple of days and few weeks postpartum, we sometimes take turns at who is pacing the floor or rocking the baby (that’s if we have a really high needs baby like we did this time ;-)  With some babies we have walked less miles!
• Actively keep him awake more in the evenings so that we will have a good chance of him sleeping when we want to sleep. 
• He sleeps with us a lot.  He just sleeps better when he is near me.
• I nurse him laying down at night.
• In those first days and weeks, we are obsessive about making sure the baby is burped good (thanks to some good training from our midwife).  Saves a huge amount of trouble with gassy tummies. 
• For gassy tummies, there is always Gripe Water ;-)  We found it works most of the time.
• Sometimes babies can just be overly tired and fussy from a long day.  Sometimes I can tell by the way the baby is acting that he just needs to lay down in bed for a little while and fuss for a few minutes (usually a 6 week and older solution for us).
• Simplify life — freezer meals or a costco grocery run for freezer lasagnas and cereal if you have too.  I gear myself up for easy meals and a messy house for a while and try to stay convinced this is alright. 
• I continue to take prenatal vitamins and good-for-you oils to help with post-partum stresses and hormones.
• Most importantly, focus on the amazing blessing it is to have such a little person in your care.  Thinking and pondering the wonderful gift God has given us helps put things in perspective. And as always, give thanks even in those difficult times!

Amazing changes happen almost overnight when one has a newborn.  It is one thing for someone who doesn’t see our baby everyday to say “My, how he has grown!”….it is another thing for me, who sees him every day, to see that growth take place!  To think that last year at this time, this little baby was not even a thought in anyone’s mind, except that of our Heavenly Father, is truly amazing to me.  And now he is here loud and sure.  How blessed we are to have and hold little Providence!  How he has challenged us!  How God has used him to knock off some of our rough edges?  3 a.m. feedings, crying, and sleep deprivation have a way of doing that to you!  Things are settling down a bit now that we are sleeping more!

His smiles make me smile.   I am so enjoying getting to know this little man.  I often find him intently studying something with amazing focus and attentiveness.  I discovered he likes to study dark and light contrasts.  He is very wiggly and likes to kick his legs.  He loves his brothers and sisters and they adore him.  And he absolutely hates his car seat. 

I finally snapped a picture of a big smile!

We took a last minute trip to surprise my grandmother for her 75th birthday party my mother and aunts were giving her.  It was wonderful to see the extended family…many of whom I have not seen in years and best of all to take our children to see their great grandmother.

My mother read a very honoring letter highlighting many great strengths and talents of my grandmother and giving God much praise and gratitude for such a Godly mother.  I enjoyed hearing more about the things my mom appreciated in her mother and enjoyed talking to my grandmother about how she met my grandfather, their courtship and the story of their engagement.  She was a new bride at 16 years old.  A young mother…a faithful wife…an incredible home economist.  Her home was filled with joy of family life and always something smelling good cooking on the stove or baking in the oven. 

My mom said,

My mom is gentle, determined, selfless, and I have seen her hold onto her faith in God during the worst times of her life.  Through many sicknesses, losing her mom, her dad, her sisters, and the dark sudden loss of dad my mom held onto her rock– -her strong tower, her comforter. Not easy to do, but God never fails her. I have stood by her side and seen great hurt and I marvel at her courage and Gods love that carries her …

…we were probably 20 before we had to actually go buy a dress. Our entire wardrobe during childhood was sewn by mom. We were the best dressed girls in town. I now realize great love went into every dress and we matched.  I even see those 1950’s hat’s with matching outfits worn by mom to church every Sunday…

And sew she does.  Even when I was growing up, she continued to make my cousins and I dresses.  We were often blessed with a special dress made by grandma for our piano recitals or Easter Sunday.  She even made the brides maid dresses and flower girl dresses for my wedding.  A skill that is rare indeed in this day. 

Our oldest son (her first great grandchild) read a poem he wrote her.  It was rather witty and funny and she appreciated it. 

There are many amazing things about this woman and I too am so grateful that God put a grandmother in my life that has always been a strong example of a Christian womanhood–through many trials and losses,  God has always been faithful to her….and what an example that has been to me.  She is a great woman indeed with her many, many grandchildren and great grandchildren surrounding her calling her blessed. 

Here’s my 6 week pondering moment:

I find it so amazing that such a little guy can alter the course of someone else’s life (me and daddy) in the way he does.  No matter how hard it seems at times and how overwhelmed I get, the truth of the matter is:  I love being a mom.  I love newborns.  One of my favorite things to do is to let him sleep on my chest and just feel him sleep.  He curls up into a ball.  I can almost imagine him being back in my belly, but ohh how big he has grown!  I love hearing him breath but more than that, I love knowing his breathing patterns and what they mean.  I love his smell and his soft skin.  I love touching his baby fine hair and staring into his face.  I love seeing milk dribble out of his little mouth and feel proud he has baby rolls.  I crack up when he smiles or giggles in his sleep.  I wonder what he is dreaming. 

Time is flying by so incredible fast.  In some ways, I just want to hit the pause button and remain frozen in this moment.  I know this time in my life is such a brief moment in the span of all of history.  Baby having days are few compared to the sum total of life and I fear they will vanish far too quickly.  Yet, life and time march on and stop for no man.  That one thing is for sure.  The wonderful promise, though, is that soaking in these moments makes a lifetime full of glorious memories and victories that also continue on for those who will stop to smell the roses in life’s garden. 

I can’t say that I have spent all my time playing with my new little boy.  He has given us our fair share of sleepless nights and fussy times.  There have been lots of diaper changes and walking the floor.  He’s a serious boy, but will occasionally crack a smile or let out a big happy sigh.  He has brought so much joy to our family.  Here at 4 weeks, we are still enjoying his cuteness.  I love it and am trying to soak in every moment as a sweet victory for newborn days pass so quickly!

I was recently informed by our 3 year old daughter, “My baby is better than your baby because my baby doesn’t cry all the time like yours.” 

The character examples in Proverbs 31 are so far above reproach, it is hard to figure out how a woman’s job as keeper of her home and assistant to her husband are anywhere considered substandard or ho-hum?

However, it really is only in believing anti-Biblical thought that one can conjure up the idea that Godly womanhood and glorious motherhood are liken to some repressive, unintelligent, low existence.  According to Scripture, it is just the opposite.  Yet many women, including Christian women, have foolishly believed the snide, negative comments about ”home makers being barefoot, pregnant and chained to the stove”.  So they shun the glorious role God gave to women and believe that being barren and fruitless and chained to a grey cubical (or a job) 50 hours a week is the liberated and educated choice.  

The so-called liberated feminist believes the same lie the serpent told Eve in the garden –the humanistic lie that you shall be as a god, deciding for yourself what is good and evil. Beware of the serpent’s beguiling lies and know that when we follow down that destructive path and believe the lies of this feminized culture, it is the road to hell: pain, misery, death and destruction.

When we look at the view that God has of women, we see a completely different picture than what the raging feminist have been painting for the last 150 years. 

( I would highly encourage you to read Jennie Chancey’s article entitled, You Don’t Know Feminism.)

In Proverbs, we see the examples of a woman who was well-educated, industrious, hospitable. We see ultimate security and real love in marriage. We see true prosperity and eternal value. She is highly productive and skillful. She is bold, respected, honored and her husband is known in high places because of her character. She serves and entertains. She is eloquent, prepared and has long term vision and foresight.  She cares for children and those in need.  This woman isn’t measured by what a pagan culture says is acceptable, she is measured and valued in the eyes of her Creator God!  Her home isn’t stagnant edifice of a pile of decaying sticks, but is a thriving, economically vital, bustling place of industry. (see Proverbs 31:10-31)

While the average woman may not be a flaming feminist after the ilk of Linda Hirshman, the culture has set the standard for what and who women should be and the majority of women have been infected by feminist thought whether they know it or not!  As Christian women, our standard isn’t what culture dictates — it comes directly from Scripture — and in our culture our standard, as Christians,  is extremely opposite of current societal norms. 

The days of anticipation leading up to the arrival of baby chicks and ducklings are almost unbearable for a 7 year old and those who have to listen to his almost hourly updates of how many hours left until his package arrives. 

The day finally arrived.  My husband and older boys had just left the house about 5 minutes before the knock at the door.  It was the postal lady handing over a long awaited package to a very excited 7 year old boy. 

We brought the box inside and he promptly whipped out his pocket knife to cut the plastic ties and open the lid.  The rest of the younger children were gathered around.  Their faces quickly went from overly excited to twisted brow as he pulled off the lid revealing 27 stiff like, feet up in the air, non-thriving chicks and ducklings and one lone live chick standing amongst the dead chirping. 

My first thoughts were, “Why did the guys have to leave before the mail arrived!”

The optimistic 7 year old looked at the “this-is-not-what-I-expected” site and said, “Maybe the rest of them are just tired and laid down to take a nap!”

I took a closer look and said that they weren’t napping…they were dead and that we would put the one chick under a light and give it warmth and put the other ones outside on the porch until the boys arrived home to deal with the situation.  He obviously was very upset and decided to just sit and stare at the box a moment while I gathered the supplies to warm the lone chirping chick. 

A minute later, he announced he saw one of them breathing.  “See, I told you guys…they are alive!” 

We decided to put the entire box under the heat and light and see if we could get water into the one that was breathing.  I found an eye dropper and Patrick began to give the chick water.  An hour later, one chicken I would have left for dead, popped up it’s head and started chirping.  By that time, he had given water to several others  and  we soon had about 11 chicks that were weakly alive and drinking water from the eye dropper. 

That day was consumed with caring for those weak chickens which may sound like a waste of time, but in reality, the children learned many valuable lessons over the course of this last week that I am sure will soon not be forgotten. 

Over the next 4 days, Patrick lost most of the chicks that he had nursed.  He handled it well and I knew he was going to be ok when he announced, “Another chick died…mom…” and then proceeded to open the back door and yell, “Here, kitty-kitty-kitty.”

In the end, he was left with two strong chicks….the original lone chick and the first one he spotted breathing.  Today, he announced proudly, “My 2 chicks are finally 1 week old!” 

His replacement shipment is due to be shipped out next week.  Hopefully, this time it won’t be 19 degrees and the mail will be on time. 

On the last day of the year, we set aside time to reflect on the year and give thanks to God for His Sovereign hand upon our lives.   We remember the joys and trials of the year. We talk about the Providential hand of God moving in our life and marvel at His mercy and grace even amidst trials.  We remember activities and projects we worked on, accomplishments, things most memorable, things that were hard, things most blessed, things that were sad and things that brought much laughter….It is a time of remembrance and thanksgiving for everyone in our entire family. 

We have found that this little exercise is a great way to peak inside the hearts and minds of our children.  When our children are able to write…even if that means in scratch…..we require them to pen some of their own thoughts on paper.  First is a paper about reflections:  ”Write what you learned, experiences you had, things you did, things you are thankful for and other memories of this year.”  Second is a paper about intentions:  ”Write a list of goals you would like to accomplish for the upcoming year.” 

For those that can not write, we usually have them dictate to us (or an older sibling) their goals and we write them down for them.   For those who do not yet talk coherently, we usually make up a goal they will be pursuing whether they like it or not (i.e. potty training, learning how to sit on a blanket during family worship time and church, etc…).   How wonderful it is to look back over the years and see goals set by our oldest children, like “I want to learn how to read”, and compare that to where they are now or to see their memory goals and hear them recite chapters in the Bible they have learned! 

We each work on our reflections and goals in preparation for our time of celebration on New Year’s Eve. 

Our 10 year old completed his list of 2007 reflections today.  I will for brevity sake only highlight a few of his page long most memorable reflections.  He states: 

• In 2007, we bought our cow named Bonnie Blue and we also moved to the farm. 
• In 2007, I caught my first coon!
• I grew my first crop of corn and my brothers and dad and I got to castrate a pig. 
• My brother and I raised a 40 lb turkey and we learned how to breed rabbits.
• I also learned how to milk a cow and I did more school work this year too.  Everybody turned 1 year older. 
• In 2007, I did more work for less pay. 

He wrote in all seriousness and after he was finished, he handed it to me to see if he had written enough.  I agreed it was sufficient all the while chuckling to myself about the “more work for less pay” reflection.  I did notice on his goal’s paper he had a plan to make $500 this year.  Such are the lessons learned by a 10 year old from serious reflections on his past year of life. 

Our 7 year old’s list of reflections was highly entertaining and enlightening.  As with all the children, the impacting influence of farm life was highly evident….more than I realized.  A few of the (newly turned) 7 year old’s reflections were:  

• I helped work on the milk barn.
• I started learning how to read.
• I learned that a chicken will die without water. 
• I learned NEVER to put a chicken in with a dog cus’ the chicken gets killed.
• I learned that a castrated cow won’t breed with a milk cow. 

And I learned that moving to a farm teaches children way more than you will ever think they will learn and it is only through teaching them to reflect and remember things in their life, even from a young age,  that you find out some of those little known facts that were bouncing around in their little heads. 

Kids offer a unique perspective on life that somehow disappears with age.  We all had that quizzical perspective at one time or another I suppose.  It is refreshing at times but sometimes down right nerving to listen to those unique perspectives that seem to flow endlessly out of my children’s mouths. 

I’ve had a hard week.  My husband is away on business earning our family an income.  I hold down the fort here, lately feeling like one of those one-dimensional stick figures about to blow away in the wind.  I have milked and fed our dairy cow with the help of my oldest, fought with our 8 barn cats who like to live at our back door instead of the barn, listened to the neighbor’s dog (who is supposed to live 3 miles away) bark up and down our hollow every night warding off danger I am sure.  And then there are the children…all of them and all of their antics, their complaints, their troubles, their hurts as well as those good things that seem to not be remembered during times of stress.  The mounting housework, the meals, the homeschooling or what was supposed to be boys doing their school work who instead built a trebuchet out of the crayon box, rubber bands, train tracks and lincoln logs….then proceeded to launch map pencils across the room.  And then there is just being pregnant.  At least this week, the cat didn’t get locked in my truck and poop everywhere… like last time.  At least this week, the back window of my truck didn’t shatter out… like last time.  At least this time the animals didn’t escape and the kids weren’t throwing up.  Things could have been worse. 

To make life a bit easier today, after the chores were finished (and I don’t mean the house was clean by any means) we loaded up and took a trip into our small town.  At least for a brief moment, everyone would be in some sort of restraint device, including me.  

As we were driving, one of the boys thinks he spots a “HUGE black animal” on the side of the road that he is just sure is a rare black fox.  “Please….turn around mom…please….we can pick it up and take it home and skin it….We can sell the pelt and make $200 dollars mom!  Turn around…quick before someone comes along and picks it up.” 

At this point I am rolling my head side to side…my neck is tight and I feel a headache coming on.  No…we didn’t turn around. 

They begged and pleaded.  “If we don’t turn around someone will come get it, mom….That’s $200 dollars, mom!” 

We proceed with our my agenda for the day but at least I promised them I would go slow on the way back so they could see it again. We were on our way to take the trash to the dump (We don’t have that luxury of trash pickup that I just assumed was a given for everyone in America–silly me) and passed through our town square where a flurry of activity was happening for a town of 3,000. 

Evidently, 50 years ago the town buried a time capsule filled with all sorts of memorabilia and the other day they attempted to dig it up.  Well, they were still digging and now one of the large trees was knocked down and a group of about 5 city jail inmates were doing the clean-up work.  I stopped in a little shop on the square to pick up some thank you cards and, of course, overheard the town conversations about the whole ordeal.  Evidently they are still looking for it…the time capsule.  Hmm…interesting country town.  I can’t wait to read next week’s paper. 

We finally finish our errands and head home.  I, as promised, go slow so they can try and spot their “HUGE” find.  They anxiously look out the windows and talk about how when they find it again we can pick it up and take it home.  I nixed that idea immediately.  They countered with, “well, at least we can cover it with leaves so no one steals it and we can get it when daddy gets home” and other comments I couldn’t quite make out about why girls don’t like ideas that boys have. 

Thankfully, the only animal we saw was a baby dear grazing on some grass.  We arrive home.  I hand out orders, head inside to start supper and then head back outside to milk the cow.  My 8 year old girl meets me with a serious concern.  One of her kittens evidently isn’t purring right, something is wrong…and then she says, “I think she has a sore throat.”

I wish I was one of those moms who offered sincere sympathy for random childhood concerns.  At this point in life, dead animals on the side of the road and kittens with sore throats definitely do not top my list of things to think about! 

Ohh, to only have those concerns again and be able to see life with such unique perspective!